Convincing your Spouse your cat has a drug problem
Dora & Jerry
This is Dora and the human she ADORES, my husband Jerry…
About once a month, Dora’s sister likes to chew on Dora’s whiskers when she is sleeping, hence giving her the “Bill the Cat” look. When her whiskers DO grow back in, they are all twisted/crooked and uneven. Compared to her perfectly groomed sister, she always looks like a strung –out druggie looking for her next fix. Yesterday, (April 1) I followed through with a silly idea I have been planning for a short time….I took several of Jerry’s wrapped cigarillo cigars, and hid then in Dora’s sleeping box (under the window.) Within her blankets, I also tucked in these other items:
• a roll of tums
• glow sticks, eye drops
• Salt shaker & lemon wedge
• Empty prescription bottle
• Pack of matches, metal spoon, and a box of Narcan.
While Jerry was in his upstairs office, I causally yelled up the stairs, “Hey Jerr….have you noticed Dora acting weird lately?”.. his 1- word reply “NO!”… I then mentioned she “gives me a strange look” whenever I pass by her sleeping nook. I recommended he “check her out” next time he’s downstairs. I then bolted to the living room to pretended I was watching TV. I heard him tromp down the stairs, rummage through her nook & blanket and say.. “What the heck??” I causally walked in and said “what’s up?" ………there stood Jerry, holding several pieces of “contraband” looking confused. I said, “SEE!! I think she’s hanging out with the wrong group!!!” …… We need to make an intervention!!!” I then pointed to her and said “YOU NEED HELP!” My “JOKE” was not received as funny as I had hoped. With big eyes, Dora was giving us a look of “Seriously? Your messing with my personal spot!?” Jerry looked confused and said “did she REALLY put these things here?” I am laughing hysterically thinking I should get and award for successfully implying our cat has a drug problem. To humor me Jerry gave a weak laugh and said “make sure you put my cigars back where they belong,” and went back upstairs. Later on, I relayed this caper to my Daughter Savannah, hoping she would boost my self-proclaimed wittiness. Her reply was one that I have heard lot lately… “MOM, you need a nap!” I think I need to widen my immediate audience… As Rodney Dangerfield used to say, “Its not easy being me…… I went to a freak show and they let me in for free…… I get no respect!”